How leaders (and colleagues) lose trust: the ‘say do gap’
Trust is at the core of everything we do in communication. If people don’t trust (or like) you, then they won’t buy from you - whether you’re selling a product, a service, an idea, a project, a change, or a strategy!
Trust is really hard to win, and requires your communication to be consistent, truthful, timely, honest, and personalised (among other things).
And while it’s really hard to win, the reality is that it’s very easy to lose, very quickly!
Communication is not just the words you write or say; communication is everything you do that sends a message. That includes your tone of voice, body language, and your behaviours.
One of the behaviours that loses trust most quickly is what we call the ‘say do gap’. That’s when all your ‘official’ written and verbal communication say one thing, but you do another.
Here are some examples of what this can look like:
A leader may talk about living the company’s values when they send emails or speak at town halls. Those values might be things like accountability and respect. But despite saying these things ‘officially,’ they’re seen and heard making crude or mean remarks about one of their peers or a team in the business.
An organisation has a strong anti-bullying message. While the CEO has talked constantly about bullying not being tolerated in the business, and encouraging people to speak up, when someone makes a complaint it’s not followed up and nobody is held accountable.
There are austerity measures being put in place in the business due to poor revenue, and the executive are cutting learning programs and people. But then they fly off to a luxury off-site ‘strategy retreat’.
In each one of those scenarios, what was said and written did not match the behaviours.
This sends a message that people don’t care, or that there are different sets of rules for some people in the organisation. It can also send a message that your values don’t really matter, and are just there to ‘tick a box’. Unfortunately, those messages result in negative impacts on culture and morale, and can send a signal to others that poor behaviour is okay in your business.
The biggest issue with the ‘say do gap’ is that it erodes trust. And when leaders lose trust, they lose engagement … and then they lose performance and productivity.
Trust is the basis of any functioning, effective relationship. So it’s absolutely critical that leaders walk the talk, and role model the behaviours they expect of others. And role model the behaviours they say they expect to see!
